We’re sorry for Tomb Raider, thank you for buying.

Start up Tomb Raider I-III Remastered (2024, Aspyr, pub. Crystal Dynamics, Embracer) and you’re met with a curious message. “The games in this collection contain offensive depictions of people and cultures rooted in racial and et hnic prejudices. These stereotypes are deeply harmful, inexcusable, and do not align with our values at Crystal Dynamics. Rather […]

Liliguide Pollin and The Arc

Liliguide Pollin rolls around in the small chamber. There’s a noise and it’s activating the red signal. That means leaving the chamber. Leave the chamber and find yourself in oil corridor five West Barker. The chamber is deep down in the Bowel. The Bowel is a… It… Dominates. The Bowel is a part of this […]

The Waders Stay On During…

Robert Yang’s new game ‘Rainbows Are Carnivores‘ is about fishing and gay. Tap or click to cast your line. The camera fixes on ‘you’ a fisher of men, as you reel them in. It follows a story for about 10 minutes as you adjust the water, trying to land on the perfect conditions for your […]

ps2 game: gay red ball story (2003). story of the gay ball from heaven.

in this story a gay ball from heaven arrives on planet Arth, which is just like ours but a little different. the story is that basically it’s a heaven ball. it contains a liquid called ‘jelly’. is it real? the scientists begin to do tests. one of the scientists. dr. lesbiana, brother of dr. lesbiana, […]

Gun City

there’s a choice between two different types of car. fast and smooth and big and chunky. you pick the fast and smooth type. if you start having sex at the start line you get a bonus to your speed. something has to go in a hole somewhere. it’s a penetrative sport. you can argue semantics […]

talking skull in a basement. abasement talking skull.

there is in my basement a talking skull. i am sure it can talk. and it’s not just i’m imagining it. i showed my partner and they agree. it’s real. i also showed my friend. and they think it’s real too. so i’m certain. and i did tests on the room. no gas leak. it’s […]

Harper’s Reality Feast

Thirteen Doors. They all lead into one chamber. In its centre an arched staircase entrance, down into an underground vault. A hall of grand size. Here is laid out a feast. For thirteen people. Each is served by a waiter at their seat. A kitchen staffed of thirteen cooks the meal. On the walls are […]

Malice’s resurrection mechanic. grey world of spirits.

the game of Malice (2004, ps2) is a game of collecting the keys and gears. you do this to kill god. once you kill god, you end the game. along the way you deliver girl power type dialogue in the face of a world of mild innuendo/objectification and edgy type jokes about worms on welfare […]