the most fun I’ve had since summer vacation

gee oh boy it’s christmas again here in Cardrock City! the apple trees are blooming and happiness is filling the sky. why? well mister! it’s The Season again, of joy? didn’t you know. oh silly mister! the thing u see is what you know! and if you know it… that’s right! You Blow It

it’d be the most fun I’ve had since summer vacation, where I juggled the water balloons until they burst and shot water up the nose of the local bully. the girl next door was WOWZA and the boy next door was HUBBA HUBBA and the other kid Me The Agender one was AWOOGA huff huff huff. hahahaha.

I’m only kidding around though. It’s never Christmas and it never will be again! We killed the scoundrel Christ when he returned and cooked and ate that guy, gee wiz what a hoot. That was July 1st. And ohhh boy. It sure was the absolute most Crackerjack Thing.

Didn’t you know that they don’t even have Christmas down in Australia either. or winter. Or They Don’t Have Winter on Winter. Or We don’t have Winter on Winter. Depends on how you look at it see.

For us Summer is Summer. And our Summer, is their Winter. So for them our Winter is their Summer. Gee oh boy ain’t the world a trick! It’s real goofy when you think about it. And wow. I got a new toy called The Galactic Motion and it’s like, well, it’s like… well… huh… Ummm… I don’t even know what it’s really like, it’s like nothing. And did you know that Even If You Really Thought It Was Jesus Some people don’t even care!! That’s A Real Hoot!

So basically there’s No Summer, No Christ, and No way of explaining my toys! Oh boy!! But I’m still around I’m still here and fun, well that’s real!

I like snails and worms and bugs and juice and cowards and sneezing and crying and dogs and angels and power and harpies and fists and bishops and chairs and chambers and kippers and quicksand and cola and cranberries and fishers and detox and pills and rice and polos and werthers and bricks and all Things!

but gee i guess someone could come along and say none of those things make them happy… that’s a real bummer.

it’s still The MOST FUN I’VE HAD SINCE SUMMER VACATION! nevertheless i’m screaming as i pass by on a go kart at 50 miles an hour!! that’s a real hotshot speed!!!

Listless and truthless the ancient child has, grinning, bashed it’s head against a wall for a billion years. Get ready for a billion more.